Taking Care of Self, Taking Care of Others
We are living in extraordinary times.
I often think of a line from Tony Kushner’s play Angels in America—a magical realism drama set in the 1980’s during the AIDS crisis, in which Prior Walter utters: “I can handle pressure, I am a gay man and I am used to pressure, to trouble, I am tough and strong….”
We are tough, we are strong, stronger than we realize.
But that doesn’t mean we can, or should, sacrifice our own self care as we look out for our family and friends, queer brothers, sisters, and enbies.
During these uncertain and tumultuous times, it is more important, more critical, than ever to practice self care and practice it daily.
As a friend of mine likes to say: “Self care is not a luxury, it’s a survival tactic.” Another friend of mine said the other day: “We have to take care of ourselves so we can be around to vote the bastard out this November!” At the very least.
A little internet research uncovers some very helpful, and simple, tips for self care. Here’s an article from Psychology Today with some pertinent suggestions.
Personally, a daily walk around my neighborhood helps me tremendously. These days I have to wear a respirator (thanks, climate change!). Nevertheless, I can put on some music or a podcast and wander for minutes or hours and I find myself maintaining perspective.
A daily practice of gratitude is simple and effective, or simply effective. It’s amazing how a little bit of gratitude goes a long way. There’s that perspective thing again. It’s a practice that’s been around for thousands of years in nearly every spiritual and religious tradition I’ve come across. I say it out loud about everything I can think of, big and small. “I’m grateful that my breakfast was yummy today. I’m grateful I slept better than usual. I’m grateful for an excellent bowel movement!”
Anything goes. It’s like yoga on the inside. It stretches those muscles of awe and wonder that keep life worth living.
Lastly, but I think most importantly, be gentle with yourself. If you find yourself feeling more frustration or sadness than usual, don’t beat yourself up about it. No generation in human history has lived through this much particular weirdness before.
There are no guidebooks on how to navigate political and social turmoil, incessant wildfire smoke, a pandemic, hurricanes, and other symptoms of climate change simultaneously.
I want to leave you with this quote from Samwise Gamgee, of Middle Earth:
“I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.”
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